Editor’s Soapbox-Roommates!

Laura’s advice of the month: Don’t room with a high school friend in college!

Why? Almost every freshman considers rooming with someone from high school in college. And at first, that can sound like a good idea. Instead of getting stuck with a stranger—someone who may stash his or her dirty socks in your pillowcase or steal your favorite CD the second you want to listen to it—you could share all your college memories with a friend from home.

But don’t do it.

College is a time to grow, not to stay in your comfort zone. An old-time friend might have a hard time letting you grow up. And, friend or not, he or she will still be your roommate with the same urge to borrow your favorite CD as a random roommate would have. In fact, a roommate you knew in high school might actually feel more entitled to borrow your stuff without asking.

Whether you live with a stranger or a friend, discuss the rules of your shared space on the first day. Ask what time he or she usually goes to bed. Admit that you need a few days’ warning if a guest is coming to visit overnight. Lay down the law on visiting members of the opposite sex, figure out a way to take phone messages effectively, and remember to ask before borrowing anything.

Discussing rules on day one avoids the awkwardness of having to address an issue after it has become a problem. Preventive conversations are much easier to have.

Remember that your stranger roommate is just as nervous about living with you as you are with him or her. But if it doesn’t work out, wouldn’t you rather lose an acquaintance than risk losing a friend?

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