DECIDING TO PLEDGE

Two invitations have the potential to change your life; your answer to both will definitely change your life. A college acceptance letter opens up educational opportunities. Going to college starts a process of making choices far beyond academic ones. Choosing friends who make college life meaningful and fun is one of those first decisions.
The second letter, an invitation to join a fraternity or sorority, expands your social world. For many students, deciding to pledge is one of the best ways to cultivate new friendships and establish a college identity. The pledge experience isn't automatically successful, but several considerations can make it more satisfying and fun. Failing to think about them beforehand can also ruin a special experience.

GIVE YOUR DECISION CAREFUL CONSIDERATION.
Deciding to pledge is a very personal choice--decide because it's best for you. It has short-term implications as well as life-long possibilities, so weigh advantages as well as disadvantages. Initially, know what your expectations are.

UNDERSTAND WHY YOU WANT TO PLEDGE.
An invitation to pledge seems to promise non-stop parties, instant popularity, and a packed social calendar. If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is. Each college student has a different reason for wanting to join or belong. "You must make pledging a very personal decision. Don't do it because everyone is--take time to find the club that fits you," says Whitney Hamilton, recent business graduate at Trinity University in San Antonio, Texas. Understanding your individuality allows you to make a contribution, instead of losing yourself.

DIFFERENT PERSONALITIES HAVE DISTINCTLY DIFFERENT SOCIAL NEEDS.
Think about your personality and what kind of group you might fit in. Ask questions about different kinds of campus clubs. Some organizations are strictly social, others are service, some are academic, and many have Greek ties. Observe how members of each conduct their lives. Envision your fitting into a particular group. Matching your needs and personality traits to the group will enable you to fit in.

AVOID TUNNEL VISION.
Also, weigh factors such as time and money. Sometimes first semester freshmen are overwhelmed and simply surviving. However, second semester freshmen or sophomores have a feel for campus and a secure feeling about their future. Deciding to pledge isn't a decision to be made lightly. It has both benefits and drawbacks, but timing is a critical consideration. Pledging when you're overloaded with academic classes and labs, or when money is tight, or when you're overwhelmed with work responsibilities aren't the best possibilities. However, deciding to pledge the semester you have a light academic load, are settled into the campus routine, and ready for new friendships, can offer the best of all worlds.

BUDGET CAREFULLY.
Pledging is expensive and sometimes results in unexpected expenses. Analyze pledging costs, budget your money, and plan ahead to prevent calling home for more money.

DO YOUR SOCIAL HOMEWORK.
Just as you check classes and degree plans, also check reputations of sororities or fraternities you're considering. Nothing is 100% certain, but investigating before committing can improve your chances of being happy and having long-term success. "Ask about the chapter's academic performance; there is likely no better indicator of the group's priorities," advises Mike Carlone, a member of the Higher Education Center for Alcohol and Other Drug Prevention and leader of Balanced Man Project, a program realigning alcohol-based fraternity culture.

WEIGH OPTIONS.
Some campuses offer traditional Greek fraternities and sororities. Other colleges offer non-Greek pledging experiences. Many universities have well-developed academic or service organizations. Deciding to join any of these can produce the same results.

BE CURIOUS.
Ask members at rush parties what to expect. How did their expectations pan out? Ask students on campus--observe which group fits your objective. Get to know established members; ask about procedures, expectations, and interests. While members don't want to be clones of each other, being part of a group with common interests is desirable. "Ask about expectations of new members. What is their schedule, what is the extent of activity, and how long is the program?" notes Mr. Carlone.

BE REALISTIC ABOUT EXPECTATIONS.
Don't go into the experience expecting a miraculous cure-all. Your personality won't be instantly transformed and weekends won't be packed with promising dates. Like other college choices, pledging simply offers new opportunities. Being realistic prevents bitter disappointments and enables you to maximize benefits.

UNDERSTAND PLEDGING IS NOT ALL FUN.
Pledging is a way to get to know members and fit into a group. Often it's time-consuming, grueling, and exhausting. Go into the experience understanding the process and outcome. "Don't take yourself or pledging too seriously. It can be whatever you make it," notes Ms. Hamilton. Arm yourself with common sense. Be prepared for hassles and good-natured teasing. Expect to do silly, spontaneous things in the spirit of fun.
"The pledging activities draw you into the group and test your personality under pressure--it helps to loosen up and learn to laugh at yourself," notes David Stevens, a recent graduate of Baylor University who is a Miami stock broker.

THINK ABOUT DIFFERENCES BETWEEN FUN AND DANGER.
Draw the line when asked to participate or initiate activities that could be potentially serious, dangerous, or illegal.
For example, there's a difference between going to a party and having a drink and chugalugging lethal amounts of alcohol. Know guidelines dictated by common sense. College students want to belong to a fun group, but they also want to stay out of serious trouble. It's easy within a group mentality for the lines to get blurred. "New members seeking acceptance within an organization are vulnerable to a host of pressures. When confronted with potentially dangerous situations, they face difficult decisions. There is often a mentality that others went through it, so I can too," observes Mr. Carlone. He adds, "Members have a responsibility to have concern for self and others; when the situation is dangerous, hopefully, self-protection and self-pride are greater emotions than the desire to belong to the group." New members and established members should be mature enough to "talk to an advisor, an older member, or a parent." Peer pressure isn't an excuse to endanger yourself or your friends or suffer a debilitating or fatal accident. Think ahead how you'll react if asked to participate in something you know is dangerous. Be willing to draw the line between fun and something that could produce dangerous consequences.

TAKE ADVANTAGES OF OPPORTUNITIES.
Ms. Hamilton notes, "You're more likely to be involved in activities of campus life." Another real benefit is "gaining a large support system and learning to work with others." She adds becoming a member "improves social skills and ability to cooperate with others" which are valuable later in the workplace.

CREATE A SUPPORT SYSTEM.
We all need people to help us through tough times and celebrate our successes as well. "Belonging to a sorority helped me gain a large support system, people to laugh and cry with," notes Ms. Hamilton. Pledging can help you find a special niche and build friendships that go beyond collegiate years. It's also one way collegiate choices lead to future opportunities. These parts can enrich your life long after you've recited the pledge and paid your dues.

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